From Betty:
If you hear the words, “And then,” or “Oh, wait,”: or “I forgot,” coming out of your mouth while describing your movie…you’re L.O.S.T. A pitch should never, ever include any of those words. NEVER.
Clearly, it’s time to go back to the drawing board. If you have properly gone through the Prewrite process, you will never have an issue pitching your movie. If you’ve written a movie, you have to get someone to read it. If you can’t concisely tell someone your story, you don’t even know your story.
What should you know? You should know every decision your main character makes and why. If you’re giving a quick pitch, you need to know what happens to your character (catalyst) and what they decide to do about it. Was that choice a good or a bad decision? What did they do with that newly found knowledge to reach their goal?
THE FORTY-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN is self-explanatory, boasting a tent-pole title. But if you want to tell someone more about the movie: It’s about a guy whose co-workers find out he’s still a virgin and he decides to let them help him get laid. While he attempts to lose his virginity on a string of horrible dates, he meets the love of his life and decides to come clean with her and wait until marriage to make love to his new wife. See? There is not a single “and then” or “oh, wait” or “back up, I forgot.”
Know your hero. Know their goal. Tell people about the decisions they make. In 127 HOURS a guy gets trapped under a rock and decides to cut off his arm in order to save his life.
In LEGALLY BLONDE, a sorority girl whose boyfriend breaks up with her decides to go to Harvard Law to win him back. She realizes he’s not worth it and decides to focus on herself, graduating number one in her class.
Put your character in a tree and throw rocks at them. Are they still in the tree? Or did they decide to get away? Hint: In a good movie, the character escapes the tree and the rocks.