From Wally:
In our classes, our job is to help novice screenwriters learn the difference between writing a novel and writing a screenplay. When writing a novel, we have all the choices and all of the words at our disposal. Our screenplay, though, has a format. Here is an example of first drafts that we read in our classes, filled with the same types of mistakes:
Int. Jane’s house – night
Jane was sitting in her overstuffed chair, reading the novel ‘War and Peace’ in her elegantly appointed living room, of the ranch style house. She stops reading, when the silence is broken by the the door knob turning and the door opening. She looked up and sees John, as he is stepping into the room. He’s visible for a moment before the lights go out, plunging the room into darkness.
Let’s discuss.
- Upon first glance, without having even read one word, i can see there are problems because the action paragraph is 6 lines long. Keep your action paragraphs to 3 lines or less (occasionally you can get away with 4 lines… the key word is occasionally). You want A LOT of white space on the page.
- In a screenplay, everything takes place in present tense. Every action takes place the moment the audience sees it on the screen. Therefore, even flashbacks or flash forwards are still written in the present. Action is ALWAYS in present tense.
- Keep your action short and to the point. Ask yourself, “Does this really need to be here? Is it really necessary? Does it really matter what kind of chair Jane is sitting in? Is it important that she is reading ‘War and Peace’? Or for that matter, a novel? Do I care if the house is a ranch style, or that the living room is elegantly appointed?” The answer to all of these questions is ‘No!’ Include only what is necessary to the story line and plot.
Here’s a tip to help you maintain action flow and paragraph length. Once you have written your action sequence… read it… try to visualize how it might play out on the screen. In this example: Jane is reading as a doorknob turns and she looks up to see John. Suddenly the lights go out. We don’t see all of this in the same shot, so we have to break it up and create white space to show different POVs.
INT. JANE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Jane sits, nose buried in a novel.
The doorknob turns – the door CREAKS open.
Jane looks up…
John stands framed in the open doorway–
The lights go out.
The scene sequence now consists of four shots (camera POVs) and a SFX (sound effect) in a total of 5 separate lines. Plus white space. Also, the slugline is in ALL CAPS.
I always tell my writers to put their hands up in front of their face, indicating stop and touch their thumbs together. Look at that… you’ve made a tiny screen with your hands. Peer through it… that’s what you write. Read the words we just wrote with your hands in that position, because that’s how a director reads your screenplay. And it’s exactly how your audience will view it.